1) PAWN STARS: Any time someone says, “Back in the day…” do a shot of whiskey.
2) HARDBALL: Whenever Chris Matthews drools, spits or farts, you have to drink a full bottle of Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA by pouring it into your mouth from 12 inches above your head.
3) HAWAII FIVE-0: Pound a Jell-O shot and a full can of SPAM every time an anorexic girl comes onscreen.
4) FACE OFF: Whenever someone says, “Throw (pronoun) under the bus,” drink a shot of Goldschlager from the hollowed out skull of a hamster.
5) ALCATRAZ: Any time a character reacts without shock to seeing someone who just traveled 50 years in time, down five Old Fashioneds.
6) TOP CHEF: Drink a shot of chilled asparagus gin with a dash of artisinal cumquat bitters and a topping of bacon foam whenever a contestant uses the term, “flavor profile.”
7) PORTLANDIA: Any time you’re not sure if Carrie and Fred are mocking someone or think that they’re really cool, drink something brewed at home by your friend who really loves Deerhoof and just bought some new bow ties.
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