Thursday, April 28, 2011

7 Movies That Swing Serious Pipe

1. Glengarry Glen Ross
2. The Thing
3. Rescue Dawn
4. 12 Angry Men
5. Reservoir Dogs--i think some broad gets shot in the leg, but i a may be mistaken
6. Lord of the Flies— the Peter Brooks one...not the one with Balthazaar Getty
7. Full Metal Jacket- But the sniper turns out to be a woman and there are those hooker scenes, so if that doesn't count...
7. Streamers- Let's keep it in 'Nam..Modine-Style!!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

7 Searched Phrases That Somehow Led People to My Sites

1. antique porn movies
2. miller genuine draft gay toast commercial
3. boiled boobs
4. kinky amazon
5. guys with sexy jaw lines
6. sin was as black as could be
7. duggars wtf

Sunday, April 24, 2011

7 Things a Bartender Hates to Hear

1. “Yo!”
2. “I’ll get ya next time.”
3. “Jaymo”
4. “Nah, just run it.”
5. “What kinda shots can you make?”
6. “What’s your name?”
7. “Stella!!!!!”

Thursday, April 14, 2011

7 Things Lysa Learned from the PATH

LYSA with a Y, Jersey City NJ
1) Many girls from NJ STILL think that Uggs, or those or those Tory Burch flats, are chic. (Hint: they are not.)
2) Women, not men, will be the first to offer their seats up to pregnant ladies.
3) People still like to read actual books.
4) Know thy bus and ferry routes.
5) It is perfectly acceptable for the Port Authority police to violate your Constitutional rights.
6) Everyone is drunk after 11PM.
7) Traffic lights are for pussies.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

7 Pavlovian Pop Culture Responses to Everyday Situations

1. “Sa’anciski? How did you came, you drove ‘n’ did ya flew?”
    (Sid Dithers, Private Eye from SCTV, any time anyone mentions San Francisco)
2. “My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me!”
    (Homer Simpson pretending to be Mr. Burns, any time I have to retrieve a package or letter)
3. “See, a beer and a shot… that’s one drink.”
    (Bad guy from MAGNUM, P.I. explaining a boilermaker to a Hawaiian bartender, any time anyone orders said combination at work)
4. “Don’t call me Shirley.”
    (I don’t really need to explain this one, do I?)
5. “I'll have a steak sandwich and a steak sandwich.”
    (Chevy Chase in FLETCH, any time anyone at the bar orders the same drink by name two times in the same order)
6. “I’ll take it out of her fine, soft flesh!”
    (Paraphrasing Cassidy in PSYCHO, any time an IOU is incurred)
7. “Is there no one on this planet to even CHALLENGE ME?!?”
    (General Zod in SUPERMAN II, whenever I win any kind of competition)