Monday, October 24, 2011

7 Video Moments That Always* Make Me Cry

1) Superman (“A friend.”)
2) It’s a Wonderful Life (“To my big brother, George… the richest man in town!”)
3) Rushmore (“Ah, I didn’t get hurt that bad.”)
4) A Charlie Brown Christmas (“Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!”)
5) The Sopranos, “Employee of the Month” (“No.”)
6) Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (“Of all the souls I’ve encountered in my travels, his was the most… human.”)
7) The Iron Giant (“Soooooperrrrrmaaaaannnnn”)

*Okay, maybe not always, but usually.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Favorite Works By Performers That People Have Told Me I Remind Them Of


1. Castaways and Cutouts / Colin Melloy (of The Decemberists)
2. Superman II / Christopher Reeve
3. “Daniel Faraday” on Lost seasons 4 – 6 / Jeremy Davies
4. Twin Peaks / David Lynch
(or Lost Highway or Mulholland Dr)
5. Curious George / Curious George
6. Robert Wagner imitation in Austin Powers:The Spy Who Shagged Me / Rob Lowe
7. Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire / Harry Potter

Monday, August 1, 2011

7 Things I’m Looking Forward to About Autumn

1) It not being summer any more.
2) DEXTER Season 6
3) Wearing long pants again (see #1)
4) BATMAN: YEAR ONE animated movie
5) Falling leaves and an early dusk (see #1)
6) Either moving or redoing the living room
7) The chili cook-off / Jeep-camping in VT

Monday, July 25, 2011

Slipped My Mind


7 Promises I've Yet to Follow Through On
By The King of Empty Promises

1. To burn the five episodes of the BBC's The Story of Ireland I download to dvd for my mother.
Promise made this past spring.

2. To burn the vhs of XTC videos lovingly collected by my friend Ben to a dvd for my friend Dave.
Promise made in January, 2011.

3. To loan my friend Bob the audiobook of David Cross' I Drink For A Reason that I had borrowed from the library.
Promise unfulfilled: I had to return the audiobook to the library.

4. To copy my dvd of Los Angeles Plays Itself for my friend Steve.
Promise made May 2011.

5. To burn some Betty Hutton movies to dvd for my friend Stacey.
Promise made November 1, 2010. Burned three movies to disc, have yet to give them to Stacey.

6. To loan my friend Kenny my copy of The Saragossa Manuscript.
Promise made in 2010, along with open-ended promise to get together for "movie night."

7. To post a list of 7 of 7Now! on a regular basis.
Promise made to my friend Karl in 2007. 2007? Good Lord!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

7 Old Tee-Vee Things That Pops Remembers

1) When bra commercials could only use mannequins as models
2) Watching LAUGH-IN and having a vague idea that there was some reason it was naughty
3) Being mad that the Watergate hearings pre-empted my afternoon cartoons
4) UHF / VHF, rabbit ears and no remote control
5) Walter Cronkite and Huntley / Brinkley (my folks didn’t do ABC News)
6) Wee Willie Weber’s Colorful Cartoon Club (see #3) on WPHL-17
7) Knowing I was up too late if I heard THE TONIGHT SHOW theme coming from my parents’ bedroom.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Seven Things The Followers of Harold Camping Could Do to Make Bob Happy

1) Jazz up their graphics. Really, Judgment Day is coming and that’s the snappiest ad campaign you could design? (All the best artists are sinners, that’s why.) Lame.
2) Try harder. Shed their clothes and try jumping up to Heaven, anyway (God Raptures those who Rapture themselves, or some such nonsense).
3) Get really pissed that God didn’t Hoover them up Heaven’s vac-hose and become Satanists.
4) If their clothes fly off for the Rapture, have an airborne orgy on the way up to Heaven (Oops! That’s a sin! And so close, too. Once you’re in Heaven, anything goes.).
5) Combine their goofy numerology with Sudoku (though Sudoku actually makes sense).
6) On May 22nd renounce their faith and join the world of the sane when once again Jesus fails to make his comeback.
7) Kill themselves. A giant mass suicide of soul-crushing disappointment. That would thin the herd of a few thousand nitwits.

As a lifelong atheist, I'd like to propose a reasonable deal to these people: I'll repent and accept Christ as my lord and savior if the Rapture does arrive on May 21st. Presented with irrefutable empirical evidence, I'll admit I was wrong, even if it's the last thing I get to do. But when May 22nd rolls along and everything is the same as it's ever been (in other words, exactly what May 22nd will be), can they all renounce their faith and admit it's a bunch of nonsense? No, they can't. Because they'll find more excuses about how their math was off or whatever. They can always find a way to justify (I'd say "rationalize," but rational is never a part of their thinking) getting it wrong. Again.

To-Do List for Earthbound Sods May 22 through Oct 21

LYSA with a Y, Jersey City NJ
1. Buy a motorcycle. Better yet, STEAL a motorcycle
2. Do not renew driver's license
3. Try heroin
4. Get knocked up and drink shots all day
5. Call out sick every Thursday and Friday
6. Credit cards bills are really only a suggested donation
7. Pizza. All day.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

7 Movies That Swing Serious Pipe

1. Glengarry Glen Ross
2. The Thing
3. Rescue Dawn
4. 12 Angry Men
5. Reservoir Dogs--i think some broad gets shot in the leg, but i a may be mistaken
6. Lord of the Flies— the Peter Brooks one...not the one with Balthazaar Getty
7. Full Metal Jacket- But the sniper turns out to be a woman and there are those hooker scenes, so if that doesn't count...
7. Streamers- Let's keep it in 'Nam..Modine-Style!!