POPS GUSTAV, Jersey City NJ
Let's face it; Facebook haters are as annoying and stubbornly Quixotic as those people who decried television as the bane of society's existence. Facebook is merely a communications medium, and like any medium, it's got its merits and disadvantages. At its best, it can be a powerful tool for social and political change, a virtual gathering place in times of need or a fascinating educator. At its worst, it can be an insipid time waster, a proselytizing bigot or a permanent record of how people have really shitty taste and don't know grammar at all.
The rules of Facebook are simple. Or at least they should be. The problem with social media's instantaneous spontaneity is that people don't take a moment to second guess their status updates and posts. And a lot of the time, they really should. Here are 14 simple dos and don'ts for adding to the Book of Face.
7 USUALLY ENTERTAINING FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES
1) Funny comedy gag based on political or social event
2) Link to interesting news story along with your comment on said tale
3) Photo of a completed creative project (can include a meal you made)
4) Amusing one-liners, preferably original
5) Pop culture non-sequiturs that challenge the reader to note the origin
6) Link to cool, obscure pop culture clip of some sort
7) Genuinely interesting personal updates from far-away friends and family (the key here is “interesting”… remember, kids, if you wouldn't bother saying it in person, why would you bother typing it?
7 TRULY TIRESOME FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES
1) Photo of your lunch (seriously, not one person cares)
2) Inspirational words or wisdom jpeg (usually ugly, to boot)
3) Weather status update (we have Siri for that, thank you)
4) Exclamations without explanations (“Godammit!” does not suffice)
5) Insincere, train-jumping celebrity memorials (so sad about that guy who was in that thing)
6) Compliment-fishing photos of the beautiful people (We get it, you’re purty)
7) Talking about your workout / how sore you are after your workout (Let’s arm wrestle)
Please note I carefully avoided mentioning photos and videos of your kids. Everyone loves every single one that you post… Every. Single. One.